Star B*tching

Rumors of fake this, fake that. Let me guess, we must be talking about Queen B

                       

Reports came out that Beyonce had given her first post-pregnancy interview with UK Star Magazine. In the interview, she had stated that Jay Jay was going to be an awesome daddy because, you know, he’s an awesome entertainer yall! She continued her lavishing compliments about her hubby, as she reassured that he would definitely “change” diapers and her little princess would be anything but normal/normal, with a normal family life….pssh posh, STFU! Oh B….While praising her husband, she also alluded that the “tight” security was necessary, while deferring from the subject as quickly as she started…Well, wasn’t that arrogant? Other parents were reportedly complaining about not seeing their first borns because Beyonce thought the little princess coming out of her vajayjay was way more important than the lower class folks. I mean, whatever B does has to be perfect! For example, her Destiny Child girls are already saying “she’s just a natural, great mom”. You can only expect perfection from B (sarcasm)!

Despite the zesty interview, Beyonce’s camp quickly issued a statement that the interview, in fact, never happened! Obvi, I’m not surprised nor shocked. Rumors about “fake” and “unreal” stories seem to be surrounding B as of lately…So, moving on!

(YAWN) Lindsay Lohan went to Court Today

              

As usual, Lindsay Lohan’s court appearances turn into a fashion show. Strutting a sexy yet classy, fit for a celebrity, outfit, Lohan arrived to court with good news. The news being that she finally is handling her shit! Beyond that boring notion, Lohan seems to be getting her shit together. LocaLohan is even being considered, along with the Hottest Woman on the Earth- Megan Fox, for the role of Elizabeth Taylor in an upcoming movie. If bitch can get her shit straight, stop snorting so much cocaine and seize the lip pulping, I think she might have a shot. Let’s not forget, Lohan actually had acting talent at one point. 

(Source: tmz.com)

Brangelina, steamier than ever

                                

Do you remember the Mr. and Mrs. Smith days? When all you read about, in regards to these two, was about how they were banging left and right all over the world?

                              

Well, ever since they brought a soccer team onto the world, their sex life seemed to have fizzled out…

                            

Until, at the Golden Globes, Angie reassured us (or more so, the Associated Press) what she anticipated more than anything that night was getting into “bed with Brad”…Preach it girl! More power to ya!

Taylor Swift gets on my Nerves…

           

How old is this woman again? 22 years old to be exact! And yet, SwifttoTalkShit continues to talk about her troubles like a 22-year-old-stuck-in-her-hormonal-teenage-years…Seriously, all I ever hear come out of this girls mouth is a pity party plea. Continuously, she annoys me with her monotone motifs rants against her less than perfect/beneath her exes; in this particular case, we have Jake Gyllenhall get the axe in her Vogue interview with her rants of, ”Oh, Jake Gyllenhaal dumped me and made me cry during Christmas” WUAH! Translation: “I’m just a nice girl that keeps getting hurt by douchebags!” WUAH! Well…missy…if I’m correct, you’re the one that continues dating douchebags on your own accord…Comes off to me like you like the bad boys, which makes me think that your insides are not as pure as you LOVE to portray!

Also, excuse a man for enjoying his privacy! Some people actually treasure that type of thing, ya know? Sure, you may argue, why go to the moon and back just to get out of a restaurant unnoticed…Well…just because he isn’t an attention-seeking-take-my-photo-with-every-person-I-date-type of guy doesn’t make him “less” mature or less ridiculous than you. GAH! Typical of SwifttotalkShit to use the  ”I’m apparently too mature” card….

(Source: hollywoodlife.com)

Snooki and JWOWW do not only share the love of alcohol but the love of Plastic

                      

Ok, seriously…does Snooki’s face not look oddly familiar to that of JWOWW’s? Something tells me gurlfriends had a couple of drinks and then bounded over plastic surgery procedures. I mean, Snooki already did come forward with her desire and plans to get breast implants like that of JWOWW’s. So, I believe if bitches can share boobie advice, they can share plastic, facial surgery advice. To further strengthen my argument, here’s a pic of Snooki before her wacky tacky face:

                

Now, here is a picture of her current face:

                        

Doesn’t the space between her eyebrows and eyes resemble JWOWW’s newfounded spacial gap, as well? Just saying!

           

Johnny Depp is no longer in Paradis…

                 

Get those high pumps, skankiest mini-skirts and chest bearing shirts out because one of Hollywood’s finest men is finally single! After 14 years and two children, Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis have called it quits! Yes, you heard right quits! Perhaps, it was because they moved back into the limelight/devil town of LA or maybe it’s because too many women were throwing themselves at Mr.Hottness. Nonetheless, it’s safe to say, Depp did good in not putting a ring on it!

(Source: people.com)

Age ain’t nothin but a number!

                  

Photo courtesy of Celebuzz.com

Age is certainly nothing but a number booboo! Or is it? J.LO’s main boytoy took to his twitter to once again flaunt/defend his romance with, 18 years his senior, JenniAlwaysfromtheBlock with the following statements:

Age, status, n opinions of others are irrelevant. Our hearts are endless and our souls infinite

Our ages are mere reminders of the hours logged on this earth and the precious time remaining.

We should all honor our time here by indulging our passion and dreams.

So, close your ears and open your hearts; Love and be happy!

Yea hunny, the dream of banging big booty and living the life of the rich and FAB!

If this wasn’t disturbing enough, J.LO retweeted his I-love-kissing-ass tweets…because…because she wants everyone to see how IN LOVE SHE IS…wait, wait, that can’t be right…Something tells me, J.LO ain’t just another big booty dumb broad…cause, ya know, American Idol does premier tonight and what better way to keep the audience entertained than with her scandalous life!

(Source: twitter.com)

Avril Lavigne and Brody Jenner broke up-NOT

                     

If they weren’t an odd couple enough, rumors were floating around that these two lovebirds had lasted-this-long/broke up this past weekend. I’m surprised they lasted this long, to be honest. It’s like the high school jock dating the emo-rocker chick instead of the expected cheerleader. Now, don’t get me wrong, Lavigne is gorgeous, but these two seem like an unlikely pairing. Nonetheless, these two seemed to have fallen in love. BUT as soon as the rumors started, they took to their twitters to either “dismiss” the rumors or to “continue-to-confuse-the-fuck-out-of-us” with the following:

Brody:

Everbody….RELAX

It really upsets me to read all the FALSE!! stories

Avril has always been there for me and is the closest person to my heart. I love her

Avril:

Luv u 2!!! @brodyjenner

Nevertheless, we’ll find out by next week what the real scoop is!

Miley Cyrus gives her Boo a baby…

                            

A baby pooch that is! So, MileySerious apparently gave her boo a dog for his 22nd bday…Attempting to appear like the Angelina-humanitarian-wannabe-MileySerious has become a dog rescuer and lover. In the process, she seems to have passed on her love/sign-for-I’m-ovulating-thus-I-secretly-want-the-real-thing-soon for puppies to her steady boo…Aw, how cute!

(Source: hollywoodlife.com)

Rihanna is smoking pot…must mean she is back with Brown

                   

Over the weekend, Princess Riri was photographer in Hawaii taking a puff of the chiba…not one photo but several were taken of her. Talk about not wanting to be a role model! Riri has been more than explicit with her angst about being labeled a role model and her tweets continue to support her “fuck you” attitude! Tweeting she felt baked and later photographed with a fat blunt, Rihanna proves once and for all that she really just doesn’t give a fuck what you or your mama think! 

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Some people may argue that her careless “fuck you” attitude comes with no surprise, since she allegedly is back to “hocking up” with her ex-douchebag/I-think-it’s-ok-to-beat-women of a boyfriend, Chris Brown. C’mon, we all saw her video for “We found love”. Girlfriend’s opening line said it all. She wishes she could have it all back, even the bad/cocaine-weed-alcoholism-heroin-boosty-caca-adventures, just for the good stuff. AND we all saw the SHIT those two did together. Definitely love in a hopeless place. But you can’t deny what your heart wants when it wants it. Hence, proud pot smoker=Rihanna must be back with douchebag! (Did that connection make sense to you all?) But just for those unwilling to believe that Rihanna would submit herself to such a fuckery once again, PerezHilton.com reports that Brown’s rep insists that Riri and him are just friends and is happily taken by current fling of a I-don’t-give-a-fuck-if-he-is-cheating-on-me-because-all-I-care-is-about-is-the-“finer”-things-in-life girlfriend. HA! Nice way of giving away that these two are “friends” now!

Wow…after all the shit that went down, they remain friends? Don’t get me started with all that bullshit of, “Well, they are grown adults acting very mature about the situation”. Someone ever lays a hand on me, the last word coming out of my mouth to explain what our “association” status is, will be the word “friends”. Just saying!